LADIES, DIVORCE IS NOT THE END...

One thing that I actually want anyone that
has had a failed marriage to do is to begin to
see things from a positive angle. I mean when
a door closes on a relationship, it's because
it's destined to end that way-not necessarily
because you failed. Even if there were
shortcomings on your part…mistakes are
there to be learned from.
It is not a time to start giving in to 'self-pity'
or despair. Love can happen to anyone at any
age. The problem is that some of us get so
scarred by unpleasant experiences that we
become perpetual pessimists. That is rather a
defeatist attitude. By all means, take your
time to heal but most importantly do not
remain down, when you should be up and
never use your unpleasant experience with
one or two persons to judge everyone that
comes your way…it is rather unfair on them.
Give each person the benefit of the doubt.
One interesting thing about life is that
there is someone that when he or she
walks into your life, your only regret will
be why your paths did not cross earlier
than when it did. So, if you recognise
that every 'ending' can also be the
'beginning' of something (even) better,
then you should begin to count it all joy
as you embrace life again…dusting 'the
past' off yourself, as you move on!
However painful your past experiences have
been, The most important thing is the lessons
therein. What positive adjustments have you
made from it all? Has such helped you
become a better you or are you perpetually
living in the past? Your scars should change
and not reduce you.
There comes a time when the lemon that life
throws at you should have you asking 'what
can I make out of this' instead of 'why me?'
Turn your regrets into lessons and begin to
live again.
I keep telling anyone that cares to listen that
no situation in life should be powerful enough
to take away your laughter permanently. You
must get to a point where you not only make
up your mind to live, you should also choose
to laugh and even love again. It is your right.
Take responsibility for your circumstances
and move on. Don't allow the opinions of
those that have not walked in your shoes to
'condition' you.
"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not
okay-then it's not the end'' –John Lennon.
Every incident in life has a purpose and they
always turn out to be blessings in the end…
you just take the 'lessons' with you.
This is life and we often do not end up with
what we want; there is nobody that life does
not throw bricks at. The brave are the ones
that have refused to be kept down. There is
life after a divorce; it needs not be the end of
happiness for you. Take back your life and
make the best out of what's left of it;
shedding every toga of bitterness as you
embrace the life ahead.
Your experiences should make you redefine
your values. Now you are wise enough to
know what never worked for you and may
probably not work for you. As we get wiser,
whatever we do in life should carry a touch
of substance and not superficiality. There is a
need to avoid swallowing every pill that
comes your way, out of 'desperation/
loneliness' or the erroneous belief that you
are a 'second hand'(whatever that means).
You will always be someone else's 'new'- don't
ever forget that!
BY CHUKWUNETA OBY