life. It shouldn't be taken lightly and
we all should make sure we do our
due diligence before moving
forward into this great
commitment.
The goal going in has to be about
creating a great and long lasting
relationship. You need to be ready
to embrace all that comes with this
union and be prepared to put in the
work necessary for positive results.
Part of making this happen is to be
mindful of how you choose a person
to spend your life with. There are
some important things to examine
and address if you want the best in
the long run.
Here are three core question you
can ask yourself that will help you
make the right decision.
Question One:
Am I Willing To Give Them What
They Need?
A lot of people go into marriage
focused on what they can gain. They
make it more about them, and this
approach isn't truly in their best
interest. Yes it is clearly a factor,
but marriage needs to be more
about the giving, not the getting.
If you are not prepared to pour into
your partner what they need, then
you are not going to experience a
happy, fulfilling, and long lasting
relationship.
You should be marrying a person
who you are prepared to be selfless
with, and not selfish with.
When you do this you increase your
ability to get all that you need in
return, that is of course if you are
mindful of the next question to ask
yourself.
Question Two:
Do We Share The Same Values?
Sometimes opposites attract, and
that isn't always a bad thing. When
you can embrace each other's
differences then you may find great
balance in your relationship. Just
understand that not having things in
common like favorite foods,
hobbies, and certain personality
traits is not the same as being on
two different pages or having core
values that differ.
If you embrace the principle of
giving and being selfless, while your
spouse thinks the idea is silly, the
two of you are going to have a
major conflict in your relationship.
If you desire kids, a big family, and
certain family values; but your
spouse doesn't want kids and could
care less about that structure in
their life, well you are going to have
big problems.
You both have to be on the same
page with the things that are most
important to you, and overlooking
that is a set up for disaster.
Question Three:
Am I Truly In Love With This
Person?
Far too many people marry a person
they are not truly in love with. They
may do it for the kids, or because
the individual is a "good person", or
simply because they figure time is
ticking and this is currently their
best option (in their mind).
The list goes on, but the bottom
line is the foundation of a genuine
true love doesn't exist there. Some
may say that shouldn't be a factor,
and you don't have to marry for
love.
Personally I believe that this is one
of the biggest mistakes people
make. In my opinion it isn't money,
s*x, or cheating that are the biggest
causes of divorce; it is a lack of
connection that is the true #1
reason.
When you lack that foundation, you
open the door to having a
relationship that can be easily
damaged. You make it harder to
endure the difficult moments that
we all experience when you are
trying to get through it with
someone you're not really in to like
that.
Being mindful of having the
foundation of friendship and true
love can take you a long way
towards experiencing the marriage
that you will feel is truly right for
you.
There are plenty of other questions
you could ask yourself, but I believe
these are the fundamental
questions that must be addressed.
The wrong answer to any one of
these may be enough to think twice
about moving forward with your
partner.
Marriage is a beautiful thing, but
when people don't take what I
believe is the correct approach,
they will add to the negative
perception that many others have of
it.
So do yourself and all around you
the favor of being honest with
yourself, and make sure you walk
into marriage with the right mindset
and the right person.
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