How to avoid being raped

You can never totally protect yourself from sexual assault but then, there are some steps (precautions) you can take to help reduce your risk of getting raped or sexually assaulted.

Safety Tips for Men:

1. Listen carefully:

Take time to hear what a female is saying. If you feel she is not being direct or is giving you a "mixed message (flirting or sex talk)" ask for clarification.

1. Don't fall for the common stereotype (idea without originality) that when a woman says "No", she really means "Yes". "No" means "No". If she says "No" to sexual contact, believe her and stop!

1. Remember that 'rape' is a crime. It is never acceptable to use force in sexual situations, no matter what the circumstances. Be aware that having forceful sex, or sex with someone who is mentally or physically incapable of giving consent is "rape". If you have sex with a woman who is drugged, intoxicated, passed out, incapable of saying "No," or unaware of what is happening around her, you may be guilty of "rape".

1. Don't make assumptions about a female's behaviour. Don't automatically assume that she wants to have sex with you just because she drinks heavily, dresses provocatively, or agrees to go to your room. Don't assume that just because she has had sex with you previously, she is willing to have sex with you again.

V. Be especially careful in group situations. Be prepared to resist pressure from friends to participate in 'gang-rape'

Safety Tips for Women:

1. Know your sexual intentions and limits. You have the right to say "No" to any unwanted sexual contact. If you are uncertain about what you want, ask the man to respect your feelings.

1. Communicate your limits firmly and directly. If you say "No," say it like you mean it. Don't give mixed messages (flirting: sex talk when you don't mean it). Back up your words with a firm tone of voice and clear body language. Don't assume that he will automatically know how you feel, or will eventually "get the message" without your having to tell him.

1. Remember that some male students or men think that drinking heavily, dressing provocatively, or going to a man's room indicates a willingness to have sex. Be especially careful to communicate your limits and intentions clearly in such situations.

iv. Listen to your "head". If you feel uncomfortable or think you may be at risk, leave the situation immediately and go to a safe place. Don't be afraid to "make a hell of noise" if you feel threatened. If you feel you are being pressured or forced into sexual activity against your will, don't hesitate to state your feelings and get out of the situation.

There is no Justification for rape; it's a sin against God and crime against humanity.

Say NO to RAPE….For more safety tips; get a copy of "Breaking the Silence"

Ijewere-Kalejaiye, writes from Lagos.